How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
