dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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