did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
