so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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