Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
