just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize