she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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