It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This baby is an asshole
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
