Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
