I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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