I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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