No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
