Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
