google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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