So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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