2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize