i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He? As in you personified your dick?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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