Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
