Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
MIDGETS
????
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
