what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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