i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize