she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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