R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
