Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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