I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
