i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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