so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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