dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
