she was so not down for the gang bang
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
