my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
