I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize