I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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