Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
