how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize