I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
