Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
