so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize