I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
