But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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