I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
whose ass print is on the piano?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize