I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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