five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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