all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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