ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
