so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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