It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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