Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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