I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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