His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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