okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
