just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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