I hate your face
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
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No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
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i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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