Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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