I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
