I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
