A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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