I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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