he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize