Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize