i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
