Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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